The Sims- Part One

Sorry, Mario...I am not big into video games.

It seems like every year I play just a few times, and usually I play the same three or four games, which is fine because this schedule enables me to continue doing more productive things (like watching Teen Mom) and saves The Peaches some money.

The problem is that when I do play these games, I play them obsessively- for 12 straight hours and days on end.  I abandon all of my responsibilities- whether it's convenient or not, sit in a chair, and stare at a 21-inch computer monitor.  Then, just as the wave of compulsion washed over me, it washes away and I walk away a few pounds lighter (too.busy.to.eat) and find Mr. Peaches so he remembers me before it's too late.  I am very suddenly no longer interested in Mario, Europa Universalis, or Sim City.  Or in whatever other decade-old game I have suddenly remembered existed.

This week, I remembered that The Sims existed.

The Sims first debuted in 2000, and I remember playing it that year on miss sarah's computer.  Basically, it's a game where you play God, without all of that pesky "free-will" business.  You create and maintain a household and the people who live in it.  You.control.everything.  And anyone who has known me for a second knows that I love control.

All of this is well and good, and I could easily write a few blog posts on how much fun it is to decorate a virtual house that you have built, create the virtual people and the virtual personalities who live in it, and help these virtual people achieve in their careers, and even have little virtual babies if you so choose.  But I'm actually writing to ask you to let me convince you that Electronic Arts, the makers of The Sims, simplified and paralleled real life with astonishing accuracy.

True story.

Part One- Background

Okay, so once you build and furnish your house, your job as God is to keep your Sims (the people) happy.  They have a few basic needs and a status bar for each, so you can prioritize them according to severity.

• Bladder
• Hygiene
• Hunger
• Energy
• Fun
• Social
• Comfort
• Room

These needs are pretty self-explanatory: You need to tell your Sims when to use the bathroom, take a shower, eat, sleep (or drink espresso, as the case may be), and have fun.  The Sims need to make and talk to friends, and if they neglect a friendship over time, this person ceases to remain their friend.  They also don't like to be physically uncomfortable for long periods of time (they need to sit in a comfy chair or take a bath, for example).  "Room" can best be described as a measure of claustrophobia- Sims need natural light, plants, and furnishings/decor they can enjoy.

Part Two to follow- and I promise it's somehow related to Christmas.

Speaking of which, Merry Christmas to you, Dear Reader.  I hope you're having a better day than this kid (who is clearly on to something).

Cricket.

I got Cricket when I was around three years old and she was my most prized possession.

SOMEONE got rid of her.

I hope SOMEONE got really creeped out by watching this old commercial.

Pour one out for my Cricket.

The First Attempts

Maybe one of the many reasons my mother was so resistant to the idea of not having flowers is because I am not crafty.  I have tried to be crafty time and time again in my early 20s, and I chronicled a few of my cadaverous hobbies in my first post.

This is my first attempt to not use one thousand dollars worth of flowers at our wedding:

Apparently, Martha Stewart tutorials, shockingly, are easier written than done.

I quickly gave up on tissue paper poms, and started on origami.  Here is my first, second, third, fourth...etc. attempts at that.

Finally, however, ACHIEVEMENT!  I made a flower!  If I used cuter paper cut in the proportions suggested by the author, this might actually work.  Some of that scrap-booking paper is awfully cute these days.

Ladies and gentlemen, we may have found our bouquets.  

It's a Nice Day for a Flowerless Wedding

I woke up thinking about the wedding today because I recently learned my florists want $1000 for flowers.

I'll give that a second to sink in.

One thousand dollars for flowers.

Ah hem.


Anyway, I want to spend $300, which I find more than reasonable.

Look, ma, no flowers!

The costs associated with having a wedding are out of control.

"On average, couples that live in or travel to [my city] spend between 

$14,069 and $23,449 total for Average Cost."

www.costofwedding.com

I'm willing to pay some of those costs- or at least let someone else pay for them (my parents are amazing).  Food seems important and expensive, so...okay.  I can't back down on booze.  It is a must-have at any party we throw, and hell, sometimes it's a must-have at breakfast.  And if the drunk men in my family end up in a fist fight... well, the photographer better be around to capture each glorious punch.

I wrote about our Day-of Coordinator here, and our decision to spend some money to have her around.  She's super and I feel good about that decision.  We are spending as much on our cake topper as my parents did on my dress, so I am not sure what that says, except I can tell you that my cake topper is $30.

But flowers?

Flowers die, and die fast.  They look beautiful for a few hours and the next day they will die.  I have never left a wedding and said to Mr. Peaches, "Did you see those Lilies of the Valley?  The looked amazing."  (Actually, I even had to look up Lilies of the Valley because I don't know anything about flowers.)

The average cost of flowers in my city, according to that website is between $1065 and $1775.

So, I will spend my weekend looking into flower alternatives.

Screw yourself, Dear Wedding Industrial Complex.

Seriously...

Did I tell you lately that my job is amazing?

I am loving all of the new technology I am finding and cannot wait to try it out in my classroom.

Voki

Our latest proyecto

I love my job.