Exhaustion and Recap

I'm tired.

Today was my sixth day of school and I'm tired.

I missed the fourth day of school.

On the fifth day one of my students told me she was going to kill herself.  She wasn't hyperbolizing.  She told me how she would do it when I gently inquired.  I had to get someone to cover my class so I could take her to the counselor.  Luckily I have a good colleague in the Band teacher, and a great 8th period class I can leave alone.

I was also observed yesterday, which went well.  It was a jam-packed return to from my three-day weekend.

I thought my eighth graders would have eaten my alive already.  I must be doing something right because today- the seventh day of school- I had an amazing day.  Even with two classes of eighth graders and a super teary-eyed seventh grader.

Today, at the end of the day, I looked at my empty, messy, unorganized classroom with papers everywhere and disheveled desks and through my exhaustion thought about how much I love my job.

Can you call it a job if you haven't gotten paid yet?  I think I'll love it more when I get my first paycheck in nine days.

99 Problems

I teach children.  Ages 8-14.  Yesterday, there were so many I couldn't handle- kids off the wall.  Openly defiant, refusing to work, hateful, and spiteful.  Everything I used to give to my teachers, I'm getting back- fine, I get it.

Meanwhile, I have to do something to be able to teach these kids.  After first period yesterday, I had already given three lunch detentions (which are to be served with me during my own lunch, so, yeah...), two stern talking-tos after class, and sent one to the office with an office referral.  Karma.  I know.

Since I don't have 100% responsibility yet, my mentor teacher (yes, she did return to work this week!) called the parents of three of my most "challenging" students (of which two are siblings- and one is the person I sent to the office).  Between my own conversations with the kids and my mentor teacher's phone calls home, here is what I learned about my kids...in one day:

1) The two siblings, who have four cousins that have been living in their house for the last four years while the cousins' parents (one of which is another student of mine) are "out of town," whatever that means.  This week, the cousins are moving to Pennsylvania because their parents are "back" and the kids feel like they are losing their own siblings.

2) One has been on many different medications over the years, and- because of the way they make him feel- the family (and doctor, I assume) tried to half one of the doses for a few days to see if the kid could cope.  He couldn't.

3) One student lost his father when he was four and his mother when he was five- one to cancer and one to a car accident.  Since then, he has lost three beloved pets, three grandfathers, and one of the two uncles he lives with is also dying.  Did I mention we started the Family Unit in Spanish this week?

I do not know how to help these kids, yet alone teach them that "madre" means "mother."