The Sims- Part One

Sorry, Mario...I am not big into video games.

It seems like every year I play just a few times, and usually I play the same three or four games, which is fine because this schedule enables me to continue doing more productive things (like watching Teen Mom) and saves The Peaches some money.

The problem is that when I do play these games, I play them obsessively- for 12 straight hours and days on end.  I abandon all of my responsibilities- whether it's convenient or not, sit in a chair, and stare at a 21-inch computer monitor.  Then, just as the wave of compulsion washed over me, it washes away and I walk away a few pounds lighter (too.busy.to.eat) and find Mr. Peaches so he remembers me before it's too late.  I am very suddenly no longer interested in Mario, Europa Universalis, or Sim City.  Or in whatever other decade-old game I have suddenly remembered existed.

This week, I remembered that The Sims existed.

The Sims first debuted in 2000, and I remember playing it that year on miss sarah's computer.  Basically, it's a game where you play God, without all of that pesky "free-will" business.  You create and maintain a household and the people who live in it.  You.control.everything.  And anyone who has known me for a second knows that I love control.

All of this is well and good, and I could easily write a few blog posts on how much fun it is to decorate a virtual house that you have built, create the virtual people and the virtual personalities who live in it, and help these virtual people achieve in their careers, and even have little virtual babies if you so choose.  But I'm actually writing to ask you to let me convince you that Electronic Arts, the makers of The Sims, simplified and paralleled real life with astonishing accuracy.

True story.

Part One- Background

Okay, so once you build and furnish your house, your job as God is to keep your Sims (the people) happy.  They have a few basic needs and a status bar for each, so you can prioritize them according to severity.

• Bladder
• Hygiene
• Hunger
• Energy
• Fun
• Social
• Comfort
• Room

These needs are pretty self-explanatory: You need to tell your Sims when to use the bathroom, take a shower, eat, sleep (or drink espresso, as the case may be), and have fun.  The Sims need to make and talk to friends, and if they neglect a friendship over time, this person ceases to remain their friend.  They also don't like to be physically uncomfortable for long periods of time (they need to sit in a comfy chair or take a bath, for example).  "Room" can best be described as a measure of claustrophobia- Sims need natural light, plants, and furnishings/decor they can enjoy.

Part Two to follow- and I promise it's somehow related to Christmas.

Speaking of which, Merry Christmas to you, Dear Reader.  I hope you're having a better day than this kid (who is clearly on to something).

Cricket.

I got Cricket when I was around three years old and she was my most prized possession.

SOMEONE got rid of her.

I hope SOMEONE got really creeped out by watching this old commercial.

Pour one out for my Cricket.

The First Attempts

Maybe one of the many reasons my mother was so resistant to the idea of not having flowers is because I am not crafty.  I have tried to be crafty time and time again in my early 20s, and I chronicled a few of my cadaverous hobbies in my first post.

This is my first attempt to not use one thousand dollars worth of flowers at our wedding:

Apparently, Martha Stewart tutorials, shockingly, are easier written than done.

I quickly gave up on tissue paper poms, and started on origami.  Here is my first, second, third, fourth...etc. attempts at that.

Finally, however, ACHIEVEMENT!  I made a flower!  If I used cuter paper cut in the proportions suggested by the author, this might actually work.  Some of that scrap-booking paper is awfully cute these days.

Ladies and gentlemen, we may have found our bouquets.  

It's a Nice Day for a Flowerless Wedding

I woke up thinking about the wedding today because I recently learned my florists want $1000 for flowers.

I'll give that a second to sink in.

One thousand dollars for flowers.

Ah hem.


Anyway, I want to spend $300, which I find more than reasonable.

Look, ma, no flowers!

The costs associated with having a wedding are out of control.

"On average, couples that live in or travel to [my city] spend between 

$14,069 and $23,449 total for Average Cost."

www.costofwedding.com

I'm willing to pay some of those costs- or at least let someone else pay for them (my parents are amazing).  Food seems important and expensive, so...okay.  I can't back down on booze.  It is a must-have at any party we throw, and hell, sometimes it's a must-have at breakfast.  And if the drunk men in my family end up in a fist fight... well, the photographer better be around to capture each glorious punch.

I wrote about our Day-of Coordinator here, and our decision to spend some money to have her around.  She's super and I feel good about that decision.  We are spending as much on our cake topper as my parents did on my dress, so I am not sure what that says, except I can tell you that my cake topper is $30.

But flowers?

Flowers die, and die fast.  They look beautiful for a few hours and the next day they will die.  I have never left a wedding and said to Mr. Peaches, "Did you see those Lilies of the Valley?  The looked amazing."  (Actually, I even had to look up Lilies of the Valley because I don't know anything about flowers.)

The average cost of flowers in my city, according to that website is between $1065 and $1775.

So, I will spend my weekend looking into flower alternatives.

Screw yourself, Dear Wedding Industrial Complex.

Seriously...

Did I tell you lately that my job is amazing?

I am loving all of the new technology I am finding and cannot wait to try it out in my classroom.

Voki

Our latest proyecto

I love my job.

It's Official

Consider this your unofficial STD (this article is pretty stringent on the gender roles, but it gets the job done for my purpose here).

Friday, July 29, 2011.

With Chocolate Creamer

I do not have the best track record with coffee, and this morning the trend continues.

This morning I poured myself a nice, huge cup with chocolate creamer and got ready to Skype with my mother, Mama Peaches, who lives in the next state over.  As I went to pick up the cup, I knocked it over instead, and it spilled all over the counter, down the dishwasher, and splashed onto Mr. Holden, who I might remind you weighs five pounds.  Here, I am using the term "splashed" politely, so that PETA doesn't send me even more mailers than it already does.  Mr. Holden was actually covered in it.

What do you do when your dog gets covered in seconds-old, scalding hot coffee?

I know what I would want- cold water fast.  I grabbed him and put him in the sink, where he proceeded to put his foot down the garbage disposal (maybe this wasn't the best idea), and showered him in freezing cold water, which he did not appreciate.  I held him awhile, and then played with him to make sure he wasn't acting funny.

He's fine!  Normal!  Hooray!

Then I proceeded to clean up the massive bloodshed in the kitchen and pour another cup of coffee, this time adding cinnamon for my troubles.  I carried it over to the couch, where Mama Peaches was waiting for me.  I put it on the ground for easy access.

I took a delicious sip.

Worth it.

Except that's when Mr. Holden, who hadn't quite had enough yet, got excited about his toy and ran toward me with it.  And planted two feet into that scalding cup of coffee and spilled it all over the floor.

Cleanup on Aisle 9.  Actually, make that aisles 7, 8, 9, 10, and 11.

I hope your morning was a little easier on you, Dear Reader.

A New Chapter

This is a big weekend for The Peaches.

Today is our very first College football game in town where football is a pretty big deal and, although I don't generally give a crap about football, I'm pretty stinkin' excited.  I love making fun memories with Mr. Peaches and our first game should be a great one.

Tomorrow we are going to pick up my engagement ring.  More about that later.

And, speaking of exciting changes, Friday I officially become one of the elite insured people in America.  Medical, Dental, and Vision, oh my!  I'm irked that I had to work for nearly two full months before I became insured (all while paying for insurance), but I do know that most people do not become insured on their hire date.  Baby steps.

Anyway, thanks to the whole being insured thing, I am setting up all kinds of doctor appointments for the month of October.  The idea is to visit a doctor from each specialty area that applies to me, and take my insurance for all I can get.  I plan on seeing my first chiropractor, a dentist, getting my eyes checked, primary care, maybe a shrink just for fun, and more.  I might even make an appointment with a pediatrician.  I want to make up for all 25 uninsured months in October.

Also, we're still broke and weddings are expensive.

And, I love my job.  Woot!

Happy Saturday, Dear Reader.

Today.

Today I loved my sixth graders.  I was teaching them some Spanish at the chalkboard when I watched a kid in the front row- a kid who, I must confess, often annoys me with his constant chattering- play with his pencil.  He was fiddling and fiddling until I watched as he poked himself in the eye with his little blue detachable eraser pencil topper.

And boy did I find that hilarious.

So hilarious that I had to turn my back to the students and face the chalkboard while I laughed.  Except after a few seconds, a student said, "She's laughing!" as though I never do such a ridiculous thing.  This made me laugh harder.  Which made them laugh harder.   And round and round we went, until I was wiping tears from my eyes and wistfully remembering that- yep, I'm getting paid for this.

Love my job.