One in 175,711,536 Part 2

The day was so good, and things fell so unusually into place for me that Mr. Peaches and I decided it absolutely was my lucky day, if such a thing ever existed.  As we left The University I joking exclaimed with joy that I should play the lottery because the jackpot was up to 16 million dollars.  This offhand remark led to an entire evening of dreaming.  For the rest of the night, Mr. Peaches and I talked about what we would do with the lottery money.  What we would realistically do with our 16 million dollar lottery winnings.

Thanks to the documentary I watched the week prior about the terrible things that happened to lottery winners that left them penniless, in jail, and sometimes dead, I had some pretty good ideas about what not to do.  First, it was important to decide between the annual payouts or lump sum (the annual payouts equal so much more money, by the way).  For this, we went to the State Lottery website.  Then there were all kinds of questions:  How much would we donate to our family members?  For whom would we buy houses?  We'd have to hire a few advisors first, of course, to make sure the money lasted us the rest of our lives.  We would also have to- at least in the beginning- ignore any family members, long lost friends, or strangers who would flood our mailbox.  WE HAD A PLAN.


But we didn't have a ticket.


After hours of dreaming, Mr. Peaches and I decided to do it.  We were going to win play the lottery.  We don't live in the...uh...best neighborhood in our city, so within walking distance we have several run down, sometimes dangerous "marts" from which to choose.  We walked to our favorite one (ie the one that does not reek of corned beef or have dirty, off duty, uniformed cops as loiters) and when we got inside I motioned to the Mr. to go ahead and "play the lottery," whatever that means.  He responded, "No, no!  You're the lucky one today, it's got to be you!"  Now, I have played some scratch offs before, especially when I received them as a gift, but it was at this point that I realized neither one of us had ever played the state lottery and that this was going to be a learning experience.


I'm going to lay it out for you, Dear Reader- here's the thing about the State Lottery:  it's CONFUSING ELABORATE.  I am a college graduate and I could not understand how to play this f-ing game.  I mean, it probably would have helped if I had read the instructions, but no, I have a degree, did I mention?  It cost me $40K and I would like to pay it off with my new LOTTERY WINNINGS, thanks.  The clerk at the counter, who knows us from emergency eggs, ice cream, and the occasional pack of overpriced cigarettes, had to explain to us the correct way to choose numbers.  For each game, labeled ABCD or E, a player chooses five different numbers on the left and one number (the "powerball," I think?) on the right.  After fifteen minutes of pure embarrassment and confusion fun and excitement we walked away, confident with our numbers and a plan for our winnings.

After twenty-four hours of dreaming, we lost our $16M.  We lost our financial advisors, the mortgage payoff for my aunt and the house for his mom.  We lost the annual payments of $616K (after taxes) and the erasure of our student debt (which will exceed $200K in a few years)...


But it was still my lucky day because I'm starting Student Teaching on January 19th.  I even met my mentor teacher on Tuesday.  More to come about that...