The Time Señorita Peaches Went to Jail

I lost a child.

Thursday, the second day of school, I lost a child.

It was fifth period, my most challenging class of eighth graders.  I didn't get to take attendance right away because there were three new students, who had missed the first day of school and I needed to catch them up.  By the time I had finished with them, the other students had completed their task, and started to get restless.  In an effort to keep them occupied, I decided I would take attendance at the end of the period instead of let them start talking and wasting time.

A few minutes later, one student raised her hand to go to the bathroom.  Since she hadn't done any work all morning, I told her she couldn't go.  Over the next few minutes she grew more persistent, until her attitude got so big I took her out into the hallway.

I asked her what was going on with her- "Why are you acting like this?  I have heard you are such a great kid (which I tell all of the trouble makers) and I expect better behavior in my classroom."  She responded that she just really had to go to the bathroom and it was an EMERGENCY.

An emergency.

Famous last words.

I allowed her to go to the bathroom, against my better judgment.  Afterall, the girls bathroom is just across the hall and down one door, and I can peek in at pretty much any moment if necessary.  She had ninety seconds.

Ninety seconds goes by, and I'm not surprised when she doesn't return.  While I'm teaching the rest of the students, I'm actually contemplating how I am going to punish her: lunch detention?  A stern talking-to?  Another minute goes by.  And then another.  And another.  I can hear the water in the bathroom running, and I just know she's playing in it, trying to waste time.

The minutes keep passing.  I'm checking out the clock.  I stop hearing the water and she still hasn't returned.

I get the students writing.  I RUN the twelve steps to the bathroom.  Empty.

I PANIC.  Panic, panic, in a way I have never experienced before.  Except that time I thought I lost my dog, maybe that comes close.  Except she's not a dog, she's a child, and she's not even MY child, so I'm really screwed.

At that time, the wonderful band teacher from next door comes by just to check in on me.  (I'm convinced my internal panic blanketed the building.)  He asks if everything is going okay, because he knows these eighth graders suck already.

I pull him into the hallway.  With the most shame and desperation I may have ever felt I said, "Uh, everything is actually not so okay.  Um...I lost one.  A student, I mean, I lost a student- I can't find her!"

"That happens," he says.  THAT HAPPENS??

Then he asked me which one.  And my face turns red.  It's the second day of school and I haven't even taken attendance.  I DON'T KNOW WHICH ONE.  A girl one?  I do know that much.

I run inside my classroom and begin frantically taking attendance, which I can do without the students by checking their seat numbers, and matching them to the body sitting in the desk.  I get to the number of the chair where that student was supposed to be sitting and realize it's supposed to be empty.

I begin asking the students sitting next to the little juvenile delinquent if they know the name "of that student I kicked out of my classroom."  (A girl's gotta save face, you know.)  No one knew.

She's new

I've never seen her before

I don't know her...

LIARS!

I pull another girl out into the hallway, my roster in hand.  I ask, in the most calm and sweet tone of voice possible:

Can you tell me the name of that girl?

 Oh yeah, that's Brittany Wright*.

(*Names have been changed, duh.)

My eyes scan the roster two or three times.

Well, why isn't Brittany on my class list?

Brittany?  She ain't even in this class, she in seventh grade.

She in seventh grade.  

She wasn't even one of my students, this little shit.

An hour later, I see this girl with the media teacher across the hall.  I know they have a good relationship because he introduced me to her before (which is why I didn't find her out of place in my room) and later told me that she was a wild one and I should try and get on her good side.

I smile at them, and "jokingly" tattle on her, thankful I have him to help me take care of the situation.  After making sure she understands that behavior is unacceptable, he asks where she was supposed to be.

"Recess," she answers.  "I got bored."

New Years Day

To My Dear Reader,

I made it through the day.

I know who my problem students are.

I didn't get my schedule until 720 this morning (school starts at 715- first period at 730).

I am exhausted and I imbibed a bit tonight.  My whole life revolves around school right now.  I am in the building for twelve or so hours.  I come home and do schoolwork.  I go to bed.  I get up and start again.

I miss Mr. Peaches.

You'll hear more soon.  I just want you to know I survived.  It feels like a big accomplishment right now.

Goodnight, friends.

New Year's Eve

 
My students come tomorrow.  I'm so not ready.

Though, I hear you are never really ready for the first day of school.  I have spent the last three business days in my building for twelve hours at a time, leaving only to complete tasks which are directly school related (I had to go to Best Buy today to buy some cables to make my projector work).  My room really came together today, however, and I even made a few allies.

Today the biggest issue is that I found out I have to teach one group of sixth graders for 100 minutes.  At the end of the day.  Did I mention they are sixth graders?  Do you have any idea what sixth graders are like at 2pm? 

Since Mr. Peaches started Law School (which is going swimmingly, by the way), we haven't seen too much of one another.  Our Date Night- which is on Saturdays- was spent in the study, on two separate computers doing school work.

My dinners lately have consisted of chips and dip, something that I never buy, but happens to be in the house from the BBQ, when 70 people came over and it rained.  But they all brought dip, so there's that.

I have a lot to do for tomorrow still.

But first thing on my list is another glass of wine.

Wish me luck.

The One Where You Threw Up

Today I spent four glorious hours in my classroom (not this one).  I hadn't seen this room since my first time at the school in June, and I was anxious to get to it and make it mine.  After I picked up my key (!!!) the first hour was spent trying to get my car as close to the nearest exit as possible so I could unload the boxes of "Teachy Stuff" I have been hoarding for the last two years.  In the end I think I made thirteen trips, but it's all in there, so let's not dwell on that.

The second hour was spent sitting in different locations and staring.  Staring at my desk, staring at their desks, staring at the chalkboards that line the room.  Do I want the students to face this way or that way?  How do I want the seats organized?  Where do I want that poster?  This one?  Where is my teacher's chair?

I spent the third hour asking a myriad of questions to an innocent and curious teacher who wandered in to meet me (sucka!): Is there a two-way intercom since there is no phone?  Can I expect a teacher computer?  Do they have LCD projectors in this place?  Can I have some erasers for my chalkboards?

(The answer to all of the above is a big, fat NO, by the way.  Welcome to unequal distribution of funds, which has been ruled unconstitutional.)

Anyway, the fourth hour I swung into action.  I started drawing diagrams of different seating arrangements, trying to make the most of the space in my room while creating a warm environment.  I moved all the desks in different clusters, facing different directions, and the same for my desk and the bookcases.  Then I started working on bulletin boards so I could ignore that task for awhile, because it is pretty daunting.  But then I got back to it, and finally- an idea.

So, the toughest part- how to orient the room- is finished.  I stared for another long while.  I walked around, pretending there were students in the room who needed my help, trying to see if I could get to them quickly without having to move any furniture.  I imagined their little bodies occupying the empty spaces and the Spanish names they would choose.  I got excited to meet them.

In that moment it seemed I had been waiting all summer to meet these kids- my kids- and I couldn't wait to see their faces and experience their personalities.  I had prepared their space and thought a lot about their arrival.  I was ready (I'm not, though).  I wanted them to hurry (I don't, though).  I felt maternal (I'm not, though).

Then I yakked from all the cheese.

Six more days.  Pictures to come.

Day One

So, there you have it.

My first day of being a teacher is officially over, as today was Orientation- Day One, and Mr. Holden greeted me warmly at the door.  I loved every second, though I know most teachers grow to hate meetings, orientations, and professional development, it is all still bright, shiny, and new to me.

Right now I am waiting on Mr. Peaches to get home from his orientation so we can go enjoy a dinner to talk about our days and celebrate the OFFICIAL beginning of a huge new chapter in our lives.  Huge, huge, huge.

Last Friday we met with the jeweler who will be making my engagement ring (more on that to come).  Today the impression kit for our wedding bands arrived.

I think this is the happiest I've ever been.


And it has little to do with the fact that I came home to 19 dead flies.

Scoreboard

Home/Señorita Peaches: 19

Guest/Fly Clan: 5

You thought I was exaggerating yesterday, didn't you?
Tsk tsk, Dear Reader, tsk tsk.

Update: Dinner was great.  We have now pwned 29 flies.

Update: 8/17- 32 flies.  I haven't seen any more.  Take that, Bitches!

Am I Becoming a Hundred-and-eighty-five-pound Fly?

This is what woke me up this morning:

This disgusting thing was not just buzzing around my head, no he was diving like a fighter pilot onto my face while I snoozed, over and over and over.  The fourth time, I finally covered my head with a blanket, which kept the fly off of my face, but did not stop him from trying to pull me from my slumber.

When I finally made my way downstairs I encountered all of his friends.

You see, we hosted the Pre-Law School BBQ for the new law students last night and- though it rained and we ended up with fifty people in our small apartment- the flies made their way in as well and I think they have grown to equal our guests in number.

The Peaches' orientations begin tomorrow, Dear Reader.  And that's what we are going to focus on for the rest of the day- as soon we get our first strip of very classy fly paper.

Wish us luck!

Update:  We have caught four flies in ONE HOUR with the $1.50 classy fly paper.

Scoreboard

Fly Clan- 8

Señorita Peaches - 4

(But the game isn't over yet!)

A One-Time Fee for Starting Your Career

The days go by so quickly lately. 

I have been spending a lot of time focused on the upcoming wedding- for which we now have a venue, dress, and date- and the upcoming school year, for which I am still totally unprepared.  I don't really know how that has happened, since I spent two full-time years preparing for teaching and one month planning a wedding, but there it is.  Unprepared and scared, but undeniably, uncontrollably excited.

Today in the mail I received some classroom goodies I purchased last week from this amazing website that I believe should pay me royalties I have been promoting it so much. 

Anyway, I got some dorky, hippie-themed posters:

Some adorable posters:

and then I headed over to eBay for some useful posters.

I also had a super fun time using Shutterfly to blow up my pictures from Spain, which I plan to laminate and use on the walls as well.

Purchasing the posters to hang on my classroom walls this week has been a very expensive endeavor- around $200- but I keep telling myself that I could use these things for my entire career if I want.  Having them is also making school, which is already just around the corner, seem even closer and more real than ever.

Breathe.

and buena suerte.

The Dating Game

Since moving to our new, less cold city, Mr. Peaches and I have begun to take on meeting new friends (though our existing network of friends is excellent and we love them all) so we can broaden our horizons a bit and, well, to have more friends.  In order to accomplish this, we are officially courting our first couple- "Double Dating," if you will.

Before your mind makes the giant leap to the "Couples Seeking Couples" websites and calling the authorities because people like that should not be teaching our children- Our CHILDREN!, allow me to explain.

Mr. Peaches and I have friends who are part of an established couple of which we know and have spent time with both partners in the couple.  However, one partner always has a stronger friendship with either Mr. Peaches or I, which caused the foursome to know one another in the first place.

For instance:

Your gal Peaches becomes good friends with someone from school.

It so happens that the friend is married, or coupled.

In turn, Mr. Peaches and I, since we are coupled, will occasionally spend time with my friend and her partner/husband/whatever term they have applied to themselves.

But here's the kicker- 

Mr. Peaches does not have a friendship with the other person in the couple.

Which can end up with them standing around awkwardly while we chat and enjoy ourselves.

(This can easily be said for vice versa as well.)

But this past week, we have started spending time with a new couple as a couple.  Mr. Peaches and I met the male partner at a law school orientation months and months ago, and, as of five days ago, we all live in the same, less cold city.  

The males in our two couples have been working out the details of our "dates," but their friendship is not very developed, leading to our official courting.

I call it courting because "dating" a couple is weird, weird, weird.  It is very much like being single and dating another person in the beginning.  You become self conscious about many things you do, say, and wear- you may even bring small gifts like booze.  Should we call them or wait until they call us?  I don't want to seem overeager.  You make your own couple as attractive as possible and I have just been reminded that ending a date is the most awkward thing in the world.

Sorry Mr. Peaches, but when I was dating- say what you will about me, Dear Reader- I would often just kiss my date at the end of the night so that I could skip the whole awkward thing.  Shake hands?  Hug?  Eh, whatever.  You never know what the other person is going to do.  He sticks his hand out as I go in for the hug or something else, it's always a drag.  If I liked the dude even a little he got a kiss- because we could both be on the same page with a kiss...for better or for worse.

But you can't kiss another couple on the mouth.

At least, not if you aren't into that type of thing.  At the end of our first date, there were handshakes all around and awkward sputters of "let's do this again," "have you seen that movie?" and "it was really fun."  We set up a second date for the next day.  "Too soon!"  I could hear my inner single girl screaming, trying to give some advice and break out of three years of cobwebs.

Last night, after we watched the movie, there was just a waving goodbye.  A forced smile.  Awkwardness.  All around.  He asked what we were doing this weekend, and later on this week.  "TOO SOON!" She screamed. 

I listened to her this time.

After all, she was pretty good in her old days.

(Update: There are dating websites dedicated to this specific cause.)